Twerking nine to five

Seeing as Sinead O'Conner is now considered an essential voice in pop I guess it's about time I threw in with my 2p on the whole Sexy Miley Cyrus 'scandal'. And I use that word with great caution, because the definition I found for that word was "damage to reputation or character caused by public disclosure of immoral or grossly improper behavior" and I really don't see how a 20 year-old pop act showing off their bum to anyone that happens to be passing is actually that big a deal. It's also not like what happened was that big a shock for anyone who has been keeping up to date with what the ex Hanna Montana has been up to, she started with the sexy images last year and was very public about the fact that she was going to "make history" at the VMAs (presumably till then no-one had been allowed to gurn all the way through their set) to ensure that everyone was looking.

This whole thing is, very simply, someone deciding to stop acting like a girl and start acting like a woman, or at least what she thinks a woman should be given the world that she has grown up in. She wants to wiggle and be evocative, so be it. To me the important thing is that before this she performed mild, uninteresting pop whilst dressing like a 16 year old and now she performs mild, uninteresting pop whilst dressing like a 20 year old who decided to piss off their parents and who has the over-riding compulsion to stick her tongue out all the damn time (seriously, does anyone actually find that look sexy?).

Now I can see why this change will upset a number of parents, and I do have sympathy for them here. She has been marketed, very heavily, via her Hannah Montana image at the early teen market so there are going to be a lot of 12-15 year old suddenly wanting to recreate their idols actions in a variety of inappropriate manner. True, the tracks stopped coming out 3 years ago but the image and the music has still been promoted as a 'wholesome' option for young girls getting into pop music until very recently (though the Hannah Montana machine hasn't slowed down, which will cause more fun on that front). The change is going to cause some problems for a number of parents ("Mommy, can I become a professional twerker rather than finish school?") and I get why they may feel betrayed about this having happened. Is it Miley Cyrus's fault? Not really, she made it clear for the last couple of years that she wasn't the character and has actively tried to distance herself from that image. Is Miley Cyrus responsible for any problems this may cause? Again 'no', but given the millions of dollars that she earned from that gig and those parents she might want to think about maybe being considerate of the situation she's created. Then again that would wreck her currently finally crafted rebel motif, so I don't think it will happen any time soon so we'll have to wait for the detox for that to happen.

So onwards she goes, bravery charting courses only previously sailed by a couple hundred other pop divas with producers and writers doing all the creative effort. Will it head into the rocks or stay the course until the 'serious' album when she hits 30? No clue and very little care, I just wait for the 'My, she has grown up and argh! Put it away!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO LOOK' phase of her journey to be over so that she can fade away into background noise, rather than being taken seriously or given so much coverage by the media.
It's a warbling pop-tart.
They happen, a lot.

So I just discovered this little gem.

And then my head exploded, like this

because not only is the idea of Tori "touchy-feely warble-warble ethereal-pixie" Amos covering the brutality loving Slayer's best tune about hell-bound impalement (it says something about a band when they have more than one entry in that pigeon-hole) just not something that I can take on-board in one go but also because it's actually quite good*.

It's dark and foreboding, like the original, and it does something that makes it a new song without disrespecting the original. In my eyes that is always the mark of a great cover and, whilst the minimalist approach to the music means it will never go beyond being a curiosity-track, there is a majesty and audacity to it that has to be respected. It could have been (should have been?) terrible, so the fact it isn't instantly bumps it up in my view. Plus I finally have a Slayer track to play to my God-Daughter when she's going to sleep so the world is a better place for it.

Dear Slayer fans, please put down the knives. The original is still the best.

With Free Ice Cream!!

What can possibly be better than having a track by The Butthole Surfers (one of the greatest bands in the world, ever) covered by The Melvins (also one of the greatest bands in the world, ever)? Having free ice cream at the same time!

The Melvins cover Butthole Surfers

The track comes courtesy of this years Onion AV covers series:You may not have heard of every band that they have playing (its very American-alternative-centric) but you will have heard of many and almost certainly like at least one track from each season so please give it a try. (Hint: its worth looking through for the GWAR Kansas cover alone.)

Personally I'm most interested to see who they are going to have do "Low Self Opinion" by the Rollins band, but as that could be a couple of weeks away so here's a link to The Original.

In defense of Nu-Metal

Because I'm incapable of learning from my mistakes I continue to follow the NME, which means that from time to time I come across gems like this tosh. For those who can't be arsed reading it it's a ten point demolition of Nu-Metal, dealt with all the care and grace that a mag which has permanently hated anything involving guitars with something more than a tepid emotion can possibly muster. Now the rubbishing of the genre by NME I can handle, however the assortment of rockers going 'yup, it blows!' took me by surprise (not least of all because anyone who is old enough to have an experienced opinion on that genre should have been yelling 'fuck you NME, Melody Maker was boss!'). What people seem to have forgot is that Nu-Metal was not just rather good in many places, it was an essential part of keeping metal from falling by the way-side.

Seriously, after the pasting that glam received at the hands of Grunge the only stuff left was either third rate Guns'N'Roses rehashes in shabby looking leathers, power metal bands that refused to accept that the 80's had finished or thrashes continued march to an over-heavy Valhalla. Metal fans may have enjoyed the rich pickings of the previous 10 years of the Alternative scene but they sure hadn't picked up of any of it into their music, resulting in a rapidly ageing demographic and bands dropping out of the business as they failed to make ends meet. The genre that had once been vibrant and exciting had become a dinosaur (again) and whilst the bigger bands did well they were few and far between. It was rapidly getting out of touch with the real world and slowly becoming less and less relevant as sales went down. It was also dull, very very dull as other than get heavier no-one had done anything new for ages, or at least done anything new and then not been instantly kicked out of the club and designated 'Alternative'.

Then along came a bunch of kids who picked up elements that had been promised by things like Run DMC/Aerosmith, Anthrax/Public Enemy, & the Judgement Night soundtrack, had been fueled by a love of heavy music and dance/hip-hop, liked the experimentation of Alternative, and just wanted to go fucking mental. It had the benefits of not being about debauchery or goblins, actually being dance-able, and maintaining the heaviness that was missing from most of everything else that was going on. It was new, it was exciting, it scared the parents, and it brought life back into a dying genre. Significantly it helped bring around Oz Fest, which helped renew media interest in a dying scene, and got metal back onto the radio & the clubs. It also refused to not be called metal. It stood proud, it didn't shy away from the term 'metal', and it demanded its place at the table like the upstart it was. It wasn't going to considered 'alt' or 'grunge' or 'new wave of heavy rock' or any cobblers like that. It was metal and proud, just like all those 80's and early 90's tunes had sung about.

Sadly the genre had a number of elements going for it that meant that oldies would hate it: a lot of the bands were young, it was selling a hell of a lot of albums, it got on the telly, it had picked up a load of tricks from genres other than metal that had being going around, and it had a lot of young fans (hurm.... sounds like the New Wave of British Heavy Metal and the 80's US glam/thrash scene to me....). Clearly this meant that the oldies had to hate it, but then they weren't going to the gigs or the clubs or buying the music so quite frankly fuck em! It also had a number of bad bands, some overly hyped bands, a bunch of carpet baggers, and some pre-fab studio bands. However that includes every other genre on the planet that makes it big so its hardly the best argument to hate it with. Possibly its biggest sin was to not wear the 20 year old uniform of black leathers, jeans, and a band t-shirt. Everyone knows that you should express your freedom in the proscribed manner, least you get the term 'sports metal' thrown at you and not be considered serious enough. However this was mostly bollocks, and the meeting of the tribes that was late 90's fashion soon put paid to that cliche' (and was helped by the oldies no longer being able to fit into their lycra so easily).

Overall it did a lot of good for the world of metal: it definitely addressed a number of the gender and race barriers that were around, it brought in a new sound that let people (including a number of older acts) play around with what metal could be, it enabled a more colorful presentation without the high-drama/70's reworking of glam or the 60's nightmare of power/thrash, and it brought things back to the real world. It also, eventually, let young people back into the genre by giving them something of their own to hold onto among the 'classics'. Overall it did nothing more or less than any other generation of metal, in that it rocked and brought out a lot of classic tunes. So give it another 10 years and it'll be seen as the new golden age.

This sounds as good as it sounds

In lieu of new blog content here is a link to Rock singers singing without the music.

Mumford and Sons - Babel

Mumford and Sons have got very, very popular in the last 6 years so I decided to give their latest offering, Babel, a checkout to see what all the fuss is about as you don't sell over 200,000 albums without something going for you. Of a formula, which appears to be what these guys have.

If you like jingle and/or jangle in your banjo music with a smooth acoustic guitar backing then you will love this album, because every single track has it in spades. It's a pleasantly upbeat sounds that is easy on the ears (helped by the amazing clarity of the mix and the production) and seems precision aimed at getting your feet tapping along, as proven by them being a hit on the festival circuit. It's their core sounds (sometimes mixed up with a piano or a violin) and they like it enough to put on in every tune but it also means that there are no standout numbers on the album as they all just roll into one another and end up being rather 'sound-alike'. I had hoped for more variation, more experimentation, but its not there in any meaningful fashion which resulted in the album becoming a pleasant washover. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting a psychodelic freakout or a death metal track at the back of the album. It was just that even on the slow tracks there was an inevitable 'and now for the bounce along bit in the same rhythm as the last 5 songs'. As I said though, very foot tapping and very easy to get into (until the point around the last 3/4 of the album when it just got comfortable my ears stopped bothering to listen) so I get why so many people are all for it as it is going to offend no-ones sensibilities due to never challenging you in any way.

So that was the music, but what about the lyrics? Afraid to say that it's very much the same, just with more 'fill in the gaps' nothingness. The singing is strong, of that there is no denying, but once you get beyond the rousing chorus it is a collection of vague pronouncements on the general theme of lost love, being miserable and then managing to be strong again. Standard stuff, however it never feels like it gets personal enough to really feel anything. There is no sense of it ever actually having happening, so it becomes a colouring in book of generalised emotions: easy to feel connected to because these are 'anybody' stories but never giving you anything to really latch onto. There are also some lyrical wonders like "I came home like a stone" and a song about tearing down walls that is called Babel. Profound stuff, until you actually think about it.

It is, sadly, all a much of a blandness. This is 'authentic music' for people who can't be bothered with putting any real emotion into their listening time, bubblegum folk with a nostalgic singalong section that's been scientifically designed to never bring you down with a true feeling. If it does move you then I would have to ask 'why?' as I am quite sure you won't be able to give me a specific other than it sounds kind of fun and has a nice chorus, or giving me some tosh about how its 'real music' or some other retro-folkie bollocks. This is an Asda of folk music dressed up as a family corner shop, nothing more and nothing less.

Music blogging is hard

So a quick, and quite self-indulgent, post on why music blogging is not all that easy (and why I currently have writers block).

The main thing is that music is not the easiest of things to write about as the very medium is not a written one. You can do the history of it, the state of the industry, or the lyrics really well but the only true way you can experience music is by listening to it. Some second-hand emotions can be expressed but "the band came out for the second encore and the crowd went wild" or "the album is like a slap to the senses" doesn't express anything much. Even if you break it down into technicalities of time signatures and note sequence you are not going to get what is happening until you actually hear the tune itself. So writing about music (as has been proven by the music press again and again and again) actually becomes a list of dates, vague intentions, and observations about your own biases rather than the actual thing itself. This is why the more successful music press has CDs on the front of their journals, so you can actually do in thirty minutes the thing that they have spent 100 pages trying to explain.

Negativity also plays its part in slowing down my writing, which may come as a surprise. It is always much easier to write why you dislike something than it is as to why you like it, mostly because you just need to find one or two negative points to be able to totally reject a musicians work. Saying why something is good is a whole different story though, as you have to open up and build an argument for why someone should take the time to listen to whatever it is you have found that you think sounds that good. Slamming a band or a situation is a quick and cheap write, but it's not a path I want to go down on this blog as I'd rather tell you about a great new find than some shit that you either have already heard or are never going to have bother you. This is obviously not helped when the bulk of music I get forced on me from the main-stream 'pop' world is such weakarse garbage, the temptation to just lashout at that is sometimes overwhelming.

And then there is time, the eternal enemy of all creativity but especially so when it comes such a consumed medium. Not time to sit down and write but time to sit down and enjoy the music itself so that I can write. If I want to write an album review it's a six hour process as, IMO, you need to listen to the thing that many times to get a real feel for it. Now that shouldn't be too much of an issue but at the same time I have got a collection of tens of thousands of hours of music already that I want to listen to again, on top of the opportunity to just go tune surfing on youtube or something similar. And I mean 'just listen to the music', not 'listen to it whilst trying to come up with something smart to say about it' as those are two totally separate things.

This is before you hit generic issues like 'not sure what to write about', 'not sure if people will give a monkeys about what I write' (which if you are doing a blog you have to care about otherwise it becomes pure ego-wanking into the void) and 'do I blog or do some house work/cook the dinner/play with the cat ' etc.

Not the greatest of situations to be in, but on the plus side I had the rather excellent new album "Echogenetic" by FrontLine Assembly playing whilst doing it so all was not lost.